I had hoped I was past this, a recovery blog, at 23 years old, but here I am, writing. Usually I think there is a feel of power in my writing, but not today. I have tried the grasp the bull by the horns kind of recovery, I only have to look up slightly to see where it has got me: a bookmark tab full of 'healthy' recipe blogs. Today I start over (again, again, again...), one day at a time.
Ideally I would start this on a Monday first thing: the start of a new week and a blank slate in my mind. Something that fits nice and easily into a box. But it is a Sunday afternoon. However right now I need this and I need to challenge the idea that everything can mold to the idea of perfection that I have in my mind, because perfection is not reality.
So right now I am starting; starting to let go. I am hoping that this blog will document that; that it will keep me motivated to see the positive. Maybe writing might help to keep my head steady.
I have one for the rest of today and tomorrow and it is this: to be present. To breathe deeply and ground my feet down when it feels like everything is getting too much. One day. Baby Steps.
